Changing
28 Jul 2010 1 Comment
in Reflections
I’ve been back from a lovely 17-day vacation for more than two weeks. Life is back to normal and yet it’s not. My personal year runs from annual vacation to annual vacation. The first half of vacation is my decompression period for the year just lived and the second half, with a mind really cleared of the chaos living can bring if we let it, a nod towards the coming year.
This year starts with my following a 21-day “Daniel’s Fast”. Food-wise it’s a fast from certain foods (meat, dairy, fish, eggs, leavened breads, sugars including honey and agave nectar, alcohol, caffeine). That part has been a good way for me to focus on eating a way I prefer as I head towards my triathlon race but a bit like cheating since it’s not really a sacrifice. The other side of it is a spiritual journey where my waking thoughts, noon-time break, and final thoughts at night include devotions and checking in with my Lord. Turns out I do believe His dreams for me are much larger than any I could dream for myself. He will show the way if I’ll let Him be in charge.
We have a saying in our family. It came from my then-preschooler son. His Grandmother was telling him our pastor and his wife were going to have a baby. He said to her, “That’s OK Grandma. Mom’s not in charge of that one.” Ever since then we’ve used, “I’m not in charge of that one,” to feel relief by realizing not every situation is ours to own/solve/work our way through. That thought aligns with the Serenity Prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr:
God, grant us the… Serenity to accept things we cannot change, Courage to change the things we can, and the Wisdom to know the difference Patience for the things that take time Appreciation for all that we have, and Tolerance for those with different struggles Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.
I’m amazed by the things I am seeing by spending 21 days listening, reading, and observing instead of doing. I was bold enough to write down 4 Big Things I am ready for the Lord to be in charge of. I can tell you He is working on them. I am left with a sense of peace and anticipation.
One of the big directions I feel I am pulled towards is living much more simplistically. This isn’t a totally new theme to me. I’ve been working on the declutter thing for more than a year now. Good strides have been made. Now I’m really ready to kick it up a notch.
Stuff, even beautiful stuff, typically requires resources well beyond its single purchase. It requires space. It requires maintenance. Often it requires time. By accumulating a lot of stuff, we increase burden.
My retirement dream is to experience living other places. It’s not that I’m wanting to leave central Kansas. Wichita is a lovely place to live. My husband would choose this to remain home base. But in retirement, I don’t just want to travel/vacation. I want to live other places as well. If we have so much stuff it takes a large home to keep it, the chances of ever following that dream diminish greatly. I can run retirement financial calculators all day long but with the uncertain economy, it’s all a guess. I figure the best chance at my dream is to require less instead acquiring more.
I don’t want my footprint when I die to be, “Wow, she had a lot of great stuff!” I want it to be, “Wow, she led a great life. I’m glad she was my wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend.”
KC Sprint Triathlon (May 23, 2010)
28 May 2010 3 Comments
in Triathlon
This past weekend I attended my first out of town triathlon as a member of Team Try-a-Tri (TaT). What a privilege to be a part of this group of Athletes!
Sprint race distance was 750 meter open water; 12.4 mile bike; 5K run. There were 303 Sprint racers (and another 425 Olympic distance racers).
We have been practicing open water swims at Lake Afton in water temperatures below 60 degrees leading up to the race – yes, wetsuits preferred. The water temperature on race day felt very similar. Longview Lake water in KC is just as murky as Afton but tastes a lot better. I’ve had generous servings of both.
For race day we had some fairly significant chop. There was a side wind blowing us towards the buoys swimming out, pushing us across the point, and then away from the return buoys. Between that and imperfect sighting as I swam, I did swim farther than the 750 meter race distance. Took one guy’s fist to the face. He popped his head up long enough to say, “Sorry,” so that made it feel better. I exited the water right at 20 minutes and change, which is the time I had hoped to achieve.
Transitions were my best to date with being organized and efficient vs looking as though my hair might be on fire.
I had planned my bike pace to be 14 mph on a good or even great day. Accomplished 14.0 for 53:07 bike leg riding a bike not built for speed. The course included some significant hills. The longest incline was on the back side. A kind volunteer was at “the” crest encouraging, “You can do it! Just this far!! Come on!!!” only to find there was additional elevation beyond that. At the slowest I saw 6 mph, at the fastest, 30 mph (weeeeeeeeeee!!!!) I was really pleased with my effort on this leg. Watch out for (next year?) when I have a triathlon bike under me.
One exciting moment during the bike, there was a faster biker behind me coming into a very narrow, sharp right turn. With me on the inside of the turn we’re both lucky I have better skills than my bike might indicate.
The run, the run, oh how I am still trying to figure out how to best race this leg. My legs felt great straight out of T2. Yes!!! A fellow TaT athlete and I were together at the start of this run but she was slowly pulling away from me. I wanted sooo badly to keep up just that little bit but couldn’t quite. Her plan was to walk up hills so I would then pass her on the hill and stay ahead for a while then she would slowly catch me again. We did this at least twice. I believe my first two miles were stronger effort than in past races. When we got to the end of mile 2 water station I was disappointed to know there was a full mile+ to go. I was pretty spent. Would love to have stayed with her but she steadily pulled away from me. I did find a final chute sprint (love that!) but I really don’t think there was more for me to find overall. I ran the 5K in 33:06. Total race time as 1:51:53 which placed me 77 out of 125 females; 5 out of 7 in my age group. I had hoped for 1:49:00 but the hills on the bike and run took their toll.
As for Team TaT (18 of us), 7 took top 3 in age group. We have lots of reasons to love our coach.
Lessons learned: Sockless was non-issue for me. Lots of transition visualization of every detail led to organized clean transitions. Pouring ice water on head during run can be a small system shock but I’d do it again. It IS possible for me to spend it all on the course. Good race day. I love tri. Let the lessons continue.
I’m sad
27 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in Reflections
Ran a 5K last night that wasn’t as good as I had hoped, then had a terrible dream that left me emotionally spent well after I woke, and have just now found out my Dad had to fire himself today.
The 5K isn’t really a big deal. Had hoped to do better. Didn’t. Will another day.
The dream is not real but might be food for thought.
My Dad, well, I’m sad. He is 80 years old and not mentally ready to retire. For the past 15? years he’s done over-the-road trucking. He absolutely loves being out on the road. When we talk to him on the road his voice is usually full of happy. When he’s home recharging his batteries, not as much.
A few weeks ago he was involved in an accident in Kansas City. He didn’t see traffic stopped in front of him in time to get the truck stopped. He thought he might be able to get around the car on the left shoulder but still clipped a car with his trailer. After he was stopped he heard 2 more pops of other cars crashing. No one was injured! Three cars were taken away by wrecker. The truck didn’t have any damage.
One week later he was driving at night in Western Kansas and came upon a herd of cattle out on the road! He hit them, killing two bulls. It knocked his steering out and by some miracle the truck did not roll going through a ditch and into a fence. Because of having accidents about a week apart the insurance company debated whether he would be allowed to continue to drive (for the company he and my brother own). The decision was to put him on probation and request he stick to lower traffic areas.
I just received a call today he backed into a trailer in a loading dock. Word is he is done driving the trucks even for farm work. He has to fire himself as a truck driver. I’m sad for him.
I shall wish for him to find hobbies that make him happy. My thanks is that his trucking career has ended without any accidents where people were injured. Any time a person makes a living on the open road the chances of accidents exist.
There’s the story about the person whose house was flooding. He’s notified he should evacuate the house but he refuses saying, “God will take care of me.” The waters continue to rise and he climbs on top of the house. A boat comes along and again he refuses saying, “God will take care of me.” Finally a helicopter comes along and for a third time he refuses. ”Good will take care of me.” And he drowns. So he’s standing at the pearly gates asking why God didn’t save him. God says, “I sent a warning, a boat, and a helicopter. What more should I have done?”
Perhaps God sent some angels to help him get to the side of the road in KC, 2 bulls, and a crowded loading dock…
Please keep my parents in your prayers as they figure out how to be retired together.
A beautiful race day – NW YMCA Indoor Out
07 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in Triathlon
Last Sunday was my first race of the outdoor triathlon season. Distance: 400 yard pool swim (serpentine @ 10 second start intervals); 11.4ish mile outdoor bike; 2.5ish outdoor run. Race time temperature was in the mid 50s but very little wind.
I had a good indoor training season. One area where I learned a lot was in indoor spin class including finding there is often a bigger store of energy available than I might think there is. Also interesting to realize there’s a chance God would bless my performance. So often I feel like triathlon is my guilty pleasure. Could God actually want this (and so much more) for me? Really?!? Very cool!
I was hoping this would be a break-through swim for me. I had timed well shortly before the race. Unfortunately between race anxiety and not having a good method for pushing off from walls combined with going under lane ropes left me short of the time I desired to achieve but I didn’t stop at any walls and suck air. Let me emphasize that – I didn’t stop at any walls and suck air! I did make one mistake when coach yelled my name at about lap 6.5. My swim brain thought she needed to talk to me (that I’d done something wrong) but she was just encouraging (duh!)
I worked hard on the bike leg. It took me a while to settle in after the swim. Just about right away I was passed by someone on a bike similar to mine (touring bike = heavy + poor aerodynamics). She was in a big gear at low cadence and it looked like she was working very very hard. That was inspiration to me to keep the gear a little lower and cadence faster. My speed increased throughout the bike leg. I look forward to the day I’ve had more than a season of experience and am on a triathlon bike. Coming back in to transition I was so focused on exactly where the dismount line was it took my mind just a moment to say, “Unclip!!!” but I did – whew!
I’m convinced each leg of a race is a bit like giving birth – that a few brain cells are LOST in each leg (thank goodness they seem to return during recovery). I came out of the bike row for the run and I headed the wrong way. Just for a bit (helpful volunteers yelling at me) it didn’t cost me much beyond a moment of embarrassment.
The run started out a little slow as my calves were fairly tight. I remember thinking for a fraction of a second, “Should I walk?” to which I received the answer, “Are you crazy?!?” I had tried to spin them out on the last bit of the bike but must not have been enough. They did ease as I went along. I would say as I race I don’t have a particularly busy mind. I’d describe it more a quiet survival. After the turn-around I started talking to God (silently). It went something like this: ”Thanks so much for giving me the ability to run and a strong mind that chooses to do this sport.” Then I gently suggested he might want to show me how much power he could give me. I know bible verses related to the glory of God came easily to mind. Then I had this part where I clarified I wasn’t begging or challenging him to prove anything. And I left it at that. And I kept running.
As with many of my runs, I had the thought that more than half way in it wasn’t any more difficult than earlier in the run. I felt stronger as I went. THEN it was down the incline and around the corner to the finish and my body said, “Let’s GO!!!” And I did and it felt GREAT and I know, I know, I know I had left part of my run on the course. Could I have found it in me to run harder from the start? I don’t know. Could I have kicked it up at the half way point to the speed I achieved in the last quarter? I think so. Could I have started running hard the last eighth? Maybe. Do I have any idea what I’m capable of? Not yet. Maybe God did show me. Maybe that finish was His saying, “This is just for starters!”
I still have trouble with prayers in the vein of God being on my side vs someone else’s side. I don’t think God picks teams or countries. I do, however, believe He wants each of us to shine our light brightly. To Him be the glory. Amen.
Race time 1:36:26. Second in my age group. Very happy to have raced. HUGE kudos to race director Kimberly Mendelsohn. What a beautifully organized race it was!
Above is a picture of Team Try-a-Tri members attending the NW Y Indoor Out (volunteers and racers).
Contemplating goose families
06 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in Reflections
Today I spent part of my lunch hour on yet another beautiful day along the river bank. A pair of Canadian geese swam by. I counted twenty-two goslings in their care. TWENTY-TWO! It’s no wonder they stand in bread lines in the park. Following behind but at a distance was a single adult. It didn’t really look like the straggler was part of the group so I got to thinking about goose families. Was this pair the family everyone left their kids with to play? Did they go home to someone else at night? Did that mother hatch twenty-two of her own? Surely not since that’s 3-6 times above the “normal” number of eggs produced. Did they adopt? If so, what happened to the birth parents?
I found this link on the subject: http://www.preservewildlife.com/geeseworld.htm. The following caught my eye in particular: ”Older, experienced geese will sometimes “kidnap” goslings from younger, inexperienced geese (if they see that the young pair are unable to be attentive to the goslings), and raise them with their young. The original parents will stay back and follow the group, but not be allowed to take their goslings back.” Was it a single parent following whose goslings had been kidnapped? Was she sad or happy they were being taken care of?
I had read a study a number of years ago that said there’s a difference between mating for life and being monogamous in the bird kingdom. Where monogamy had been assumed, when they tested DNA of the offspring they realized Mama must have been finding some time in the bushes behind her mate’s back. I have no idea if that study included Canadian geese. I don’t want to ruin anyone’s reputation here.
It’s the moments between
26 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in Reflections
I saw this quote (close, anyway) from my tri coach recently. ”The way you live today is the way you live your life.”
Yesterday was the 8th anniversary of being married to a man I love so very much. It won’t matter how many years we have together, it can never be enough.
I wanted the day to be special and towards that end I did a few things. One was to get the house really picked up to make it feel as peaceful as possible. I mostly accomplished what I wanted while my husband enjoyed a game of golf with the guys. My request of him was take me to a late afternoon/ early evening dinner at Red Rock Canyon Grill. We seldom eat out. I have fond memories of my birthday dinner there last January. The ambiance had been nice, food good, and our waitress fun and friendly. That part of yesterday’s plan fell WAY short. We got the waitress who clearly didn’t want to be there and wanted even less to actually speak to us. She did, however, bring us about 10 glasses of water. Every time she walked by she quietly grabbed our water glasses we had taken a few sips from and exchanged them for full. Don’t know what that was about. Told Dave if we’d been drinking alcohol, we’d be drunk. The service was so bad, it was comical. He tipped her anyway. It’s just the kind of guy he is. It’s almost like he tipped her well because he felt sorry for her. His comment was, “Maybe her dog died today.” The third part of my attempting to make the day special was I ordered an anniversary cake from Dillons.
Eight years ago we married late afternoon at the court house with 6 friends and my 2 children in attendance. After the ceremony, we returned to our house for cake and fruit slush and beverages of choice. The slush was at the request of my 10-year-old son. The cake I ordered from Dillons. It was just a 6″ double-decker like would often be the top of a wedding cake. I don’t think I gave them too many directions but it was delightfully beautiful. Elegant. I didn’t take a picture! So starting last year I’m on a quest to have them make that for me again as an anniversary cake.
Apparently I don’t communicate very well. This was the 2009 cake. I found it rather hideous.
What I had said to Dillons is the one they had made for our wedding had bead work (as in non-edible rope beads). That would be fine again or a simple cake topped with real fresh flowers. I know she asked me if the flowers could be bright. I said, “Sure. Whatever looks good.” Well this was their idea of looking good. Yes, folks, those are big colorful frosting flowers. The picture from the side would have shown lots of beads of frosting. It at least tasted good.
So I tried again this year. Again, long conversation to describe what the wedding cake had looked like. Same thing said by me. OK to do the beads or topping it with real fresh flowers. I should have known we weren’t quite connecting when she asked what I’d like written on top of the cake. Let’s see – how many wedding cakes have I seen with “Happy Wedding!” written in the frosting on the top? Answer, “Zero!”
Here’s the 2010 anniversary cake.
This year’s version of the cake is improved over last year although a bit lopsided. It’s equally delicious. People who saw it in my cart wanted one for themselves. If I ever do get a cake created similar to the wedding one, I’ll take a picture with me to the bakery the next year. I know I could go to a “real” cake shop for a fancy anniversary cake but I think I’ll keep giving Dillons a chance.
My conclusion at the end of the day is it’s not so much about everything being perfect. It’s really all about how we live our lives BETWEEN the perfect cakes and perfect meals and perfect weather and perfect races and perfect golf games and perfect work days. I get to live my life feeling loved no matter what happens outside of that. I am truly blessed.
Love you Dave!
Just a moment to say, “Yippee!!!”
24 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
in Triathlon
Timed swim in our practice “race” this morning for 400 yards was 20 seconds faster than what I would have been “satisfied with” despite having to stop to put my goggles back on after the 6.5 lap push off (thought it might come in handy to still have my contact in my eye for the bike and run). During the swim I kept thinking, “Take it easy!” and it was. Fine results for me for where I am. Comfortably seeded for the May 2 race. Have I mentioned how much I appreciate coaches and training buddies? I do. I DO. I DO!!! – Smiling Dolphin, faster than two speeding turtles this morning.
Swimming is back to being fun (I said that out loud? No jinx please!)
23 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in Triathlon
If you read my Swim Yips post March 19, you should be smiling for me at the title of this post. I had wondered after the race swim leg bust if it would be best I just get out of the water a couple of weeks in hopes my brain would reset to something not panic. I swam 10,000 yards in one block in January for goodness sake so why should swimming 500 yards have become difficult? She wisely said, “Sorry, no pass on the swim!” She told me to stay in the water and swim in groups for a bit. So I did by adding Wednesday morning masters swim to my routine (requires a 4:30 a.m. alarm – oh my!). This week I thew in Friday morning as well partly because… it’s fun! but also because I know it’s helping me get faster, quickly. Yes quickly faster = sweet! Bless you coaches Jay and Kimberly.
I have the best lane partners. We push (and pull) each other just right. I have confidence I can do it alone since part of the duties is to lead at least part of the time. I still don’t understand how the swimmers in the faster lanes can swim so much faster so that’s yet to be revealed to me. I get a tiny glimmer of that on lap one where the swimming is effortless and fast. I have to think, “Slow down Missy. It’s just the first lap.”
Tomorrow we do a timed race-pace 400 for seeding for the May 2 NW YMCA Indoor/Out. That day I’ll be back on my bike for the first race after training indoors all winter. I know I’m stronger than I was on the outdoor bike legs last summer so I should see an improved time there. Still on my touring bike as my triathlon bike fund grows for another season. Of course the trick of triathlon is it requires balance between 3 sports (and throw in 2 transitions). I’m not supposed to swim all-out and pay for it on the bike leg. Need to spin out the legs at the end of the bike leg to not pay for the bike leg on the run. Need to be mentally prepared to deal with middle part of the run where the mind says, “You think you like to run why?!?!?” Go, baby, just go – but hold that form!
So here we go – headed for the outdoor triathlon season. I’m digging it.
How a giiiiiiiiirl does it
21 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in Herstories
My husband is a water skier from WAY back (including barefoot) but what would you expect of someone who grew up on an island? He’s a wonderful teacher for people wanting to learn to ski.
I’m a mediocre skier on a slalom ski. One of his biggest criticisms of my style is that I start two feet in the ski. I believe his exact words were, “That’s the way a Kansas giiiiiiiiiirl does it.” Well, guess the shoe fits…
That works well when a) the boat is powerful enough to handle it and b) I’m strong enough to hold on. He insists I’ll ski more years if I learn to start dragging one foot as a rudder. It would create less drag. But darn if I can balance doing it that way! Maybe this is the summer to work on it. Hope the weather in Wisconsin in July is warm this year!
If I master that it might be on to standing shore start where you stand in the water on one foot, other foot in a ski gently resting tip up on top of the water, and just a bit of slack in the rope. At the precise moment the rope gets taut, you shift your weight onto the ski and wala – you’re practically up! Right… Why do such a thing? So that when it’s cold out you don’t have to start you ski run by getting wet. Wonder if he’d let me ski in my triathlon wetsuit instead?!?
Or maybe I should just work on not closing my eyes when I cut hard to cross the boat wake ;o)
So little time. So many things to get better at.
Driving at night
02 Apr 2010 1 Comment
in Reflections
I don’t know what it is about driving at night that starts the skeletons in my closet rattling just a bit but I can tell you it’s probably good I don’t make my living driving at night. The only time I hear them is when I’m alone. Sometimes I wonder if I’d just keep driving and I’d hear them out if they’d be ready for burial. Does it matter?
I know no one leads a perfect life. What may be terrible for me may be a light thing for someone else or it might be something even more horrible to a different person. I don’t know. Our lives are shaped by our reaction to everything we experience. It creates our uniqueness.
Maybe the skeletons are there to motivate me to be better than I might be if I ran unchecked? Maybe they’re there as a gift of contrast. Have you ever met someone who is an emotional flat-line? They’re not terrible to be around because they’re never low but they’re also not the ones you seek to be around because they’re never up/enthused/joyful. Perhaps a great day is only great because there’s something lesser to compare it to.
